Hey friends,
After giving 100+ hours of talks, courses, and parent cohorts, there’s 1 habit that universally cuts screen time more than any trick (and you’ve probably been putting it off).
In today’s newsletter:
The simple change that makes the biggest difference
5 excuses keeping you from making it
Some alarmingly good solutions
Let’s dive in.
The One Habit That People Tell Me Makes The Biggest Difference
I spent hundreds of hours talking with parents and teachers about screen habits.
I’ve read thousands of pages of research on smartphones and mental health. Studied tools and habits keep their kids from getting addicted to screens.But when I ask people what actually made the biggest difference for them, the answer isn’t as complicated as you’d think.
It’s charging your phone in a different room than you sleep.
That’s it. This works better than app blockers. Better than turning your screen to grayscale. It even beats deleting Instagram (though I still recommend that for many).
But I want to be clear. This isn’t easy. This may be one of the hardest habits to be consistent with.
However, I’ve seen this have a major impact on my students’ mental health. And there are two reasons why I think it makes such a difference:
#1: You spend less time scrolling, which means you go to sleep on time.
We’ve all done it.
We’re ready to wind down for the night. Brush our teeth. Get the kids tucked in. Climb into bed ourselves. Then pick up our phone for “one last look.”
And before we know it it’s 1:00am. Then 2:00. And the only thing we have to show for it is a new recipe we’ll never try.
But leaving your phone in the other room means fewer distractions.
Which means you get to sleep on time.
And better sleep helps you feel a lot better everywhere else in life.
#2: If you can leave your phone in a different room at night, you can leave it in a different room during the day.
A big reason phones are addictive is because they’re always available.
They’re convenient, low-risk, and always ready to give us what we want. That also means it’s easy to get distracted by them. Pulling us away from the life we’re living.
But if you can sleep in a different room than your phone, you can leave it in a different room during the day.
And once you’ve done it there, it starts getting easier everywhere else. The dinner table, family time and anywhere you need to show up.
One room at a time.
So why don’t we just move the phone?
Whenever I talk about this idea with people, I get a lot of reasons why this won’t work for them.
Here are the five most common ones I get:
1. “I use my phone as my alarm clock.”
Buy an alarm clock. Seriously. You can get one for $15 on Amazon.
This excuse has a solution that takes 10 minutes and costs about 2 lattes.
(If you need suggestions, I have five at the end of this newsletter.)
2. “I might miss an emergency.”
The danger of this excuse is that it feels responsible.
But think about last year. How many actual emergencies came through after 10pm? And how many times did you “just check” and end up losing 45 minutes?
If you really can’t go without your phone, then keep it away from your bed. Set it to Do Not Disturb. And only allow a few people to get through.
Emergencies don’t come through Instagram DMs.
3. “I just check it once and then put it down.”
I believe you when you say that. I believe myself when I say the same thing.
But the phone is designed to make “just once” very difficult. That’s its purpose.
Every notification, scroll, and like is trying to bring you back one more time. This isn’t a willpower failure.
You’re using a product built by teams of engineers whose job is to keep you on your phone.
4. “My spouse has theirs in the room.”
Maybe they’re waiting for you to make the first move.
(Or maybe they’re waiting for you to forward this newsletter.)
Either way, that’s a conversation worth having. Someone else’s habit doesn’t have to be the ceiling for yours.
But if both of you are losing sleep because of a phone, you’re not just dealing with individual habits. You’re dealing with a shared one.
And those need to be broken together.
5. “I’ve tried it and I always end up going back for it.”
It’s hard moving your phone to the other room at first.
But you don’t win by white-knuckling it for a week, followed by a binge. Most people need time and friction before they make it work.
Put your phone on the charger in the kitchen. And commit to it for 2-3 weeks before deciding whether or not it’s working.
It takes time building new habits.
It’s okay to be patient with yourself.
⏰ Want to kick your phone out of the bedroom?
I went down an alarm clock rabbit hole this week so you don’t have to. Here are my top 5 from Amazon:
Most Effective — Hatch Restore 3: Gradually brightens your room to mimic a sunrise before any sound kicks in. Your body wakes up with light first. Genuinely good if sleep quality is the actual issue.
Loudest — Sonic Bomb Dual Alarm Clock: Comes with a bed shaker, a vibrating disc you put under your pillow. I don’t know who needs that level of commitment to waking up, but I respect it.
Funniest — Clocky Alarm Clock on Wheels: You get one snooze. After that, it jumps off your nightstand and rolls away beeping until you physically get up and chase it.
Most Nostalgic — Peakeep Vintage Twin Bell: Prefer a retro style? This is the alarm your grandparents had. Extremely uncomplicated.
Tried & True — Jall Wooden Digital Alarm Clock: If you like a more minimal style, this one’s for you. Clean and simple. Does exactly what a clock should do, nothing more.
Which style is your favorite? Reply and let me know!
How do you set screen time limits as a family?
Most parenting advice on screens falls into two camps: total ban or total surrender. Neither actually helps.
The Practical Parenting: Screen Time Series is a short video course that cuts through the noise with real science — so you can stop second-guessing every swipe and start making decisions you actually feel good about.
July 4th is huge in our neighborhood. The whole block throws a joint party.
We love it. Can't wait.
— Ian
